Ok it is time to show you.
I look at this picture and it makes me cry. HOWEVER it is necessary to remember where I came from to see where I am now. This is me at 225 Maybe more. I couldn't and wouldn't weigh myself then. I was afraid to.
I couldn't take pictures of myself, my hubbie took this of me without me knowing. I blamed the babies, I had 6 of them then, I blamed my husband, I blamed everything but where the blame needed to be which was with me. I put the food in my mouth and I didn't get off my butt.
This is me 8 weeks after I got off my butt. I was 220 and yes I weighed myself, it was part of what we had to do for TKD. It was before my mom died and I knew I wanted to be healthy. My dad had started to have kidney problems, my mom and dad were both diabetics. 2 weeks after this was taken my mother died from obesity. I can't lie to myself, that is why she died. she was overweight. It was a wakeup call for me, I started praying and I really mean I prayed and I prayed day in and day out that Heavenly father would show me how to be a better me and then when opportunities came I would take them. I was taking BC so that I wouldn't get PG. In Feb. of that year, I found out I was pregnant. I thought that was my answer I needed to be ok because I was going to have a baby. 7 weeks later I lost that baby. It broke my heart I was hurt and sad. Mother's day sucked and I didn't even get out of bed. I had put my name in for a drawing and that drawing CHANGED MY LIFE. I can not stress that enough. I WON the right to train for 10 weeks with some FANTASTIC Trainers at Spectrum wellness. The contest ended prematurely but I was a new person. I loved coming into that gym and have some of the staff say hey skinny how are ya or look .... at...you. I have no idea what I weighed when I left but I do know that I was a size 16 and I felt better than I had in my whole life. I was coming up on my Red belt in TKD and I was becoming healthy. I was taking BC and thought everything was great. Well the next Feb stopped me in my tracks. the BC I was taking caused my gallbladder to fail and I had emergency surgery. then I ended up Pregnant. But the result and the conditioning was still there. I was on bed rest but well... I ate much better and bouncing back was easier. I had a beautiful baby girl in december and by August I was back at the gym and back doing things I never could have done just 2 years earlier. Why did it take that long you ask well My dd came emergency C section and I would down and out some more.
This was me in August at the top of a mile hike done with a baby on my back. I wasn't out of breath and I was smiling the whole time. I was about 180 at this time. I loved being in my 16 jeans and my baby with me. 
then I got my solid black belt after a year and a half of trying and working ans wanting it. Oreo's (a belt) are bad for you, BTW this is the same Uniform as the above, it is now Too big and actually tied behind my back just so it can stay on.
This picture is one of my favorites it was taken just after the last award ceremony. That is my oldest daughter on my back.... I carried her around the gym. I now weigh around 168 and I wear a size 12. I am not done yet. I have 15 more pounds to go.
I couldn't take pictures of myself, my hubbie took this of me without me knowing. I blamed the babies, I had 6 of them then, I blamed my husband, I blamed everything but where the blame needed to be which was with me. I put the food in my mouth and I didn't get off my butt. This is me 8 weeks after I got off my butt. I was 220 and yes I weighed myself, it was part of what we had to do for TKD. It was before my mom died and I knew I wanted to be healthy. My dad had started to have kidney problems, my mom and dad were both diabetics. 2 weeks after this was taken my mother died from obesity. I can't lie to myself, that is why she died. she was overweight. It was a wakeup call for me, I started praying and I really mean I prayed and I prayed day in and day out that Heavenly father would show me how to be a better me and then when opportunities came I would take them. I was taking BC so that I wouldn't get PG. In Feb. of that year, I found out I was pregnant. I thought that was my answer I needed to be ok because I was going to have a baby. 7 weeks later I lost that baby. It broke my heart I was hurt and sad. Mother's day sucked and I didn't even get out of bed. I had put my name in for a drawing and that drawing CHANGED MY LIFE. I can not stress that enough. I WON the right to train for 10 weeks with some FANTASTIC Trainers at Spectrum wellness. The contest ended prematurely but I was a new person. I loved coming into that gym and have some of the staff say hey skinny how are ya or look .... at...you. I have no idea what I weighed when I left but I do know that I was a size 16 and I felt better than I had in my whole life. I was coming up on my Red belt in TKD and I was becoming healthy. I was taking BC and thought everything was great. Well the next Feb stopped me in my tracks. the BC I was taking caused my gallbladder to fail and I had emergency surgery. then I ended up Pregnant. But the result and the conditioning was still there. I was on bed rest but well... I ate much better and bouncing back was easier. I had a beautiful baby girl in december and by August I was back at the gym and back doing things I never could have done just 2 years earlier. Why did it take that long you ask well My dd came emergency C section and I would down and out some more. This was me in August at the top of a mile hike done with a baby on my back. I wasn't out of breath and I was smiling the whole time. I was about 180 at this time. I loved being in my 16 jeans and my baby with me. then I got my solid black belt after a year and a half of trying and working ans wanting it. Oreo's (a belt) are bad for you, BTW this is the same Uniform as the above, it is now Too big and actually tied behind my back just so it can stay on. This picture is one of my favorites it was taken just after the last award ceremony. That is my oldest daughter on my back.... I carried her around the gym. I now weigh around 168 and I wear a size 12. I am not done yet. I have 15 more pounds to go. I wrote this all down because I want those around me to know that it can be done. One step at a time one change at a time and one prayer at a time.
I have 8 children ranging from 16 to one. I am always in the van and I have little time. This being said Heavenly found me the time he will find you the time.
Love to all my friends young and old.
Road Trip
(the view from the top of Helen Hunt Falls AMAZING)
We rarely get to do andything besides TKd anymore on any other day except a saturday or sunday afternoon so most of our FHE's happen at those times. So today we did we went on a small road trip call it a staycation if you will to Helen Hunt falls.
Hiked clear to the top and back down. Took so many pictures that I was still the last one to the bottom but not because I couldn't make it just because I was snapping shots while the baby was on my back.
(miss Kaitrin and I, went all the way up and back down with that smile on my face)
You should have seen me I smiled all the way up and all the way back down, I felt GREAT!!!!! It was so amazing to see all the wonderful things that HF has down with this beautiful state and I can't wait to find more of it. I think Mondy maybe when the kids have off of school we will take another Road trip.
(sorry you have to look sideways as soon as I get it edited I will flip this... this is the base of Helen Hunt Falls)
Kisado
I promised I would tell you about Kisado. It is a little like P90X a little like Insanity and little like Zumba. Ok for those of you that have never done or have heard very little of those 3 routines, I will attempt (not and expert) to explain. Kisado I a 40 minute Class that consists if HIIT(high intensity interval training) sets. Each set is designed to either strengthen or increase cardio. There is a warm up and a cool down so actually about 30 minutes is what is spent training, this is all done to music. You leave the class tired sweating and absolutely pumped for what ever the rest of the day may bring. You find muscle you forgot you had and confidence to use them. You find your self saying things like anything is possible for 20 seconds, or what the heck only one more set. If done in the morning your muscle thank you by night fall and if done in the even they will love you come morning. It also encompasses good nutrition so you learn to eat well while you burn what you really don't need. My teenagers loved the class and my husband and I danced to most of it. I have lost weight and gained muscle ( no more bat wings ) and soon WILL say goodbye to 30 pounds of unwanted FAT. It is for almost all ages and fitness levels, the goal is not to hurt you but to help you realize all things are possible. It is my hope that you will find a Kisado class in your area and give it a go. Here In the Springs I happen to know that the first class is Free what what have you got to loose.
SO this is my ........Hmmm what do we call it.
Let just start from the beginning. I thought this morning that I should write out the reason I do what I do. Why I exercise why I eat the way I do and so forth.
In 2007 I started TKD and I actually jumped rank in 3 weeks. It would have been late june that I started. I started because part of me knew my family history and I knew I didn't want that. I also knew that my kids loved what they were doing and had some great friends. SO... I set out. In August (now a yellow belt) I threw out my knee.
I don't think I will ever ever forget that day as long as I live. I had a gal at TKD (she is/was a nurse) Look at it and she said you need to go to the hospital. SO as my husband got a wheelchair for me I had the impression that I needed to cal my mom, SO I did. It was AUgust 3 2007, I told her I had been hurt and to PLEASE Pray that It wasn't too bad. We got done there at 1 in the morning and I figured it was too late at that point to call her and tell her it would OK I didn't want to wake her. The call at 7 the next morning I figured would be her yelling at me that she had stayed up waiting for me to call, Just like she always did. It wasn't her. It was my dad, he was calling to tell me that mom had passed away in her sleep and that my brothers wives were all on their way and it would be OK. When I told him I had just talked to her at 10 or 11 the night before he told me I was more than likely the last one to speak to her.
The weeks to come were a whirlwind with me in a leg brace and a funeral and everything that entailed. I remember wondering why she had gone and why now. so when the autopsy came back that it was obesity related, needless to say I was hurt. I KNEW I didn't want to die that way. I made the commitment to stay in TKD till I was a least a black belt. I set out to do that. In may of 2008, I had a miscarriage that sent me into a tail spin. This is when things that I had set in motion that I don't remember having done,came into play and GOD put his hand in it.
He sent the people who could help me and pull me out. I won a contest, of all things it was a fitness contest and the prize was a 12 week boot camp of sorts, I learned How to exercise by confusing my muscles so that they continually had to change and work and burn. I learned how to eat what was best for me and when to eat them so that my body could burn what it needed and I consumed only what I needed. I also learned at that time that exercise is my drug of choice. It has helped me in so many ways I don't take anything for depression (it plagues me all the time.) if I feel a "mood" I go to the gym or to TKD. Has it been easy NO, have I hit bumps, yup some pretty big ones too.
Last year I had a gallbladder removal and supsequent pregnancy, that kept me out of exercise for most of the year, but guess what, the desire and need were still there. I KNEW that exercise was the only way to get back what I had lost. My now 9 Month Old dd is seeing a healthy mommy who likes finding new muscles and love to sit on my legs or stomach as I do my ab nukes. I have people tell me that there is no way I have 8 kids (talk about the smile on my face) and I love the way I feel, and the fact that I don't NEED external medicine to make me feel good. I still have a ways to go, but I am 20 pounds from my first goal 30 from my OK goal and 40 from the ultimate goal. I can and will do this... I KNOW that now.
The people I want to thank for the help I have had on my journey, First off these guys.... http://www.itaonline.com/ Mr Tuck and crew have been more than helpful in my success so far. If you are ever In Colorado Spring you NEED to come check out one of his classes, but be warned you could get hooked. Next were the people that made to contest possible. http://www.catcountry951.com/ I know a country station weird huh. there there are the people here http://www.spectrumwellness.org/home.html I can't thank them enough for helping me . I don't even think they really know what they did for me, or what a hard time that was in my life, but they changed it for the better. Lastly but most importantly is my Family, who have put up with me leaving the house at 5 in the morning and not coming home for 2 hours or wanting to just one more class, though I must say I am not near as bad about the TKD as my husband is, NOW that guy is truly TKD obsessed.
In 2007 I started TKD and I actually jumped rank in 3 weeks. It would have been late june that I started. I started because part of me knew my family history and I knew I didn't want that. I also knew that my kids loved what they were doing and had some great friends. SO... I set out. In August (now a yellow belt) I threw out my knee.
I don't think I will ever ever forget that day as long as I live. I had a gal at TKD (she is/was a nurse) Look at it and she said you need to go to the hospital. SO as my husband got a wheelchair for me I had the impression that I needed to cal my mom, SO I did. It was AUgust 3 2007, I told her I had been hurt and to PLEASE Pray that It wasn't too bad. We got done there at 1 in the morning and I figured it was too late at that point to call her and tell her it would OK I didn't want to wake her. The call at 7 the next morning I figured would be her yelling at me that she had stayed up waiting for me to call, Just like she always did. It wasn't her. It was my dad, he was calling to tell me that mom had passed away in her sleep and that my brothers wives were all on their way and it would be OK. When I told him I had just talked to her at 10 or 11 the night before he told me I was more than likely the last one to speak to her.
The weeks to come were a whirlwind with me in a leg brace and a funeral and everything that entailed. I remember wondering why she had gone and why now. so when the autopsy came back that it was obesity related, needless to say I was hurt. I KNEW I didn't want to die that way. I made the commitment to stay in TKD till I was a least a black belt. I set out to do that. In may of 2008, I had a miscarriage that sent me into a tail spin. This is when things that I had set in motion that I don't remember having done,came into play and GOD put his hand in it.
He sent the people who could help me and pull me out. I won a contest, of all things it was a fitness contest and the prize was a 12 week boot camp of sorts, I learned How to exercise by confusing my muscles so that they continually had to change and work and burn. I learned how to eat what was best for me and when to eat them so that my body could burn what it needed and I consumed only what I needed. I also learned at that time that exercise is my drug of choice. It has helped me in so many ways I don't take anything for depression (it plagues me all the time.) if I feel a "mood" I go to the gym or to TKD. Has it been easy NO, have I hit bumps, yup some pretty big ones too.
Last year I had a gallbladder removal and supsequent pregnancy, that kept me out of exercise for most of the year, but guess what, the desire and need were still there. I KNEW that exercise was the only way to get back what I had lost. My now 9 Month Old dd is seeing a healthy mommy who likes finding new muscles and love to sit on my legs or stomach as I do my ab nukes. I have people tell me that there is no way I have 8 kids (talk about the smile on my face) and I love the way I feel, and the fact that I don't NEED external medicine to make me feel good. I still have a ways to go, but I am 20 pounds from my first goal 30 from my OK goal and 40 from the ultimate goal. I can and will do this... I KNOW that now.
The people I want to thank for the help I have had on my journey, First off these guys.... http://www.itaonline.com/ Mr Tuck and crew have been more than helpful in my success so far. If you are ever In Colorado Spring you NEED to come check out one of his classes, but be warned you could get hooked. Next were the people that made to contest possible. http://www.catcountry951.com/ I know a country station weird huh. there there are the people here http://www.spectrumwellness.org/home.html I can't thank them enough for helping me . I don't even think they really know what they did for me, or what a hard time that was in my life, but they changed it for the better. Lastly but most importantly is my Family, who have put up with me leaving the house at 5 in the morning and not coming home for 2 hours or wanting to just one more class, though I must say I am not near as bad about the TKD as my husband is, NOW that guy is truly TKD obsessed.
blowing it.
I am.... truly blowing it. I am blowing it as a mother, a wife a friend (like I have any of those)..... I am even blowing it in the exercise department. Funny thing is I know I am blowing it and still I do SQUAT, why you ask because I am a dip that is why. because I have no motivation because because because. they are all just excuses anyway so I am just not going to give anymore. needless to say I suck.
discouraged.
Ok so I am TRYING to run everyday. lately though ( last 3 days) I am finding it harder and harder to actually Run. I am not even able to do a full mile right now, and today when I TRIED to run my ankle about threw a fit. It feels like a pinched nerve or something and I ran through the pinching for a while but when I was more limp jogging than jogging I gave in. I know most of this is mental. I know I can and will work through this. I know I have to... the question is how. It doesnt' help that the dragon time has showed it's ugly head and I bite peoples heads off without provocation, but still I NEED to do this I need it. Thanks for listening I will try not to grump aobut running for long.
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