I need to cry for a while

I just hurt. depression sucks. I have been fighting with it for so long and I have too many friends for whom the devil has stuck his toe in though that door. I have heard people say how they would just like to stay in bed. I wonder how many of them have actually hurt when they do get out of bed. how many could just stay in bed and let tim(months and even years) pass by. I know this fight. I have day where getting out of the bed is my biggest accomplishment, I don't do much else on days like that. Others I manage to shower. The goods days are coming closer and closer I think but I am still always tired.

I am beginning to realize that this is how he hurts families. Whole families. Think about it. the mom on my big fat greek wedding was so right. Men are the head of the house but the woman(mother) is the neck that turns the head. How better to break down Gods most important unit. When you get a kink in your neck doesn't it hurt to Turn, bend, and do just about anything? So when we feel like crap as mothers it makes sense that the rest of the house does too.

I read my PB the other day ( found it after a VERY long time) and noticed that I am to be my husbands biggest support. Both in his career and with his priesthood calling and duties as a father. I have noticed that when I trying to that support ( like kiss him before work and let him know he is loved, even asking for blessing) he is better and more willing to do those things. The trouble comes when I can't see through the muck to make anyone feel better because I don't feel good either.

I am fighting and will continue to fight( sometimes the end of the day feels like I have been beat up) and just keep movin' (for those country people I think you can guess the song in my head). I pray for those that fight the fight with me, and I cry when the day just needs it.