just tired ramblings

I am tired but for some reason just can't sleep. My DH can't either it is like we are caught between needing it and not be able. THe baby used to be up at this time and that was my excuse then but I can't use that now because well the baby is asleep and has been for at least half an hour. SO the question remains why am I not in bed. I will have to be up at an unnatural hour of the morning ( anything before 10 am is unnatural LOL) and I need to get the house cleaned so that on wednesday I won't be to embarrassed to have company here for a bbq and fireworks.

the other thing that bug me is men. In particular my husband. He wants a house he doesn't. We are looking at houses we aren't. We need a house of our own we don't. I wish the man would MAKE UP HIS MIND. It is almost like he can't confront anyone, He doesn't want to talk to the Landlord about not signing a new lease or not. He doesn't want to talk to his friend about her not being our agent anymore because of her unwillingness to look into forclosures. He didn't want to know what we could qualify for and he doesn't want to go and actually look at homes that may work for our family. I tell you that man is going to drive me nuts.

and last but certainly not Least, and this relates to the above. I NEED A HOME. I need somewhere that I can do the thing that I want to do and make it look like I want it to so that it is mine. Not a landlord that will tell me when where and what to do or have. I want somewhere that if the perfect dog or cat comes along I can get that animal and not have worry about the landlord and what will happen with our lease. A friend said it best my heart truely longs for a place that is mine.

Ok I would love to go to sleep now but the baby is now awake. AAAAAUUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

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