Ok there I said it.

I am insane and well more than a little worried. I mean really what was I thinking, I look at my husband in a seductive way and no matter the BC I am with child. So here I am again, I have gone through all the emotions since Monday when I thought maybe I was Tuesday when I was for sure that I wasn't, Wednesday when I knew for sure I was and didn't want to be Thursday and Friday coming to terms and yesterday and today knowing that it was not what I wanted but what Heavenly Father needed of me. I have no idea how all the things that will have to happen will happen but I know somehow they will. I know that somehow the basement the van my kids the dogs my ever expanding stomach potty training and everything else will somehow work out.

I want to personally thank Jeana and Tam who knew my dilemma and patiently waited for me to be ready to let the cat out of the bag so to speak. I knew I was ready when a wonderful sister sat down next to me for no reason in particular and put her arm around me and let me know that there was light at the end of the tunnel. This was Anne's mom and I figured if anyone could make me feel at ease it would be her.

Oh I am right about one thing. This Will be the last, I feel it in my heart.