thought of mom today

I thought of my mom a lot today. I know she is here with me. I almost went to call her again because a dear friend who has all ready lost so much (they lost their baby just before Ky was born) has a father in the hospital. His father has a brain bleed and right now they have slowed it down but they can't stop it. his father no longer remembers his name and the prognosis isn't good. SO I about called mom to ask her about it and then I remembered I can't. I can talk to her without the phone. I know she is with me and them (she met them and became close to them while here for the baby blessing) and is watching over them.

My Janet truely misses her "grama" I found a book she has been keep since she past. on one page all it says over and over is I want to talk to grama but I can't she is dead. I want her to call me toad but I can't hear her anymore. It hurt so bad to read that. I knew she had a special bond with my mom but I didn't realize till then just how close a bond that was.

I only hope that I too can be a "grama" to my grand kids.

It was funny cause at the funeral everyone wanted to see "their Janet" having been named after my fav aunt, all of her kids (most have all grown up) wanted to see Janet, and how big she is getting. It is a eminder to me that things do get easier and memories grow fond.

fresh meat here I come

I got my Red stripe tonight and this means I have enough classes and have all my stripes to test in 2 weeks.

This last stripe is the one that I am most proud of because I had to work extra hard to get it with my bum knee. I had to learn new ways do certain moves so that I would not injure it further. I had to learn to slow down and look at what i was doing and think things through. I was also really afraid that I would have to learn the moves backwards and relearn entire steps so as not to hurt eh knee. THat or not test at all, and like I said that would just about kill me.

so as I sit here again Icing my knee I am profoundly aware that this is what I love to do and my HF has sent me the best instructor he possible could to help me reach my goals.

Oh and in case you are wondering why I said fresh meat here I come. that is what they call all of the new green belts. we will be sparring for the first time in about 2 weeks.

More TKD

I know you guys get sick of hearing this but to damn bad this is what I do. I went to class tonight and got a semi private lesson with Mr Tuck (instructor) he has had the exact same problem with his knee that I now have and he was able to give me some pointers on how to get though testing without hurting. It was rather nice to have him help me on that and I am pretty sure I will be able to test just fine, he is very aware of what is wrong and is giving me lots of leeway.


I am quite STOKED to test this time around because then I won't have to do one steps again until I am a brown belt. WOO HOO. I am just not fond of remember all the one steps though i know it will help when it comes to sparring. I do like it when I nail and know i have it down like I did before re injuring this stupid knee. I will nail it again and i will KNOW it so well that nothing will stop me not even a bum knee.

Is there more?

SO as part of my treatment I am suppose to Ice my knee every morning and night. so while I am doing this for 20 minutes I have NOTHING to do so I figured I would blog. I mean I have a pack that i don't have to hold so that my fingers are free to type. Now all I have to do is think of something to write about.

Ok so as MOST of you know I am LDS (Mormon). I have been trying to read at least one verse in the scriptures each morning just for me. This mornings was a tried and true scripture. It was all about keeping the commandments. This got me thinking. In the blessing I received a week ago,ok last monday, I was told to take care of myself so that I could better take care of my family. Now to me that would be a commandment, a personal one but all the same a commandment. So it hits me yesterday when I went to the Dr I was finally starting to heed that comandment, but I am wondering if there was anything more that I need to do for that. I mean I can exercise and go to the dr. I can read my scriptures but is there more? I have to leave it at that for now the kids need food.

and the diagnosis is......

well according to Dr Zirckle (love that name) I have torn my Meniscus. So whenever I am doing my pivot kicks It is flipping up and last night it flipped enough that my body reacted and dropped me like a rock. He also said that there is some fluid in there which is making it float just enough to flip more. I am now in the flexible brace for another 6 weeks (he will recheck in 4 weeks.) and I have to be careful with my pivot kicks. I am going to talk to the instructor and see what he thinks this after noon but I should be ok to do most of the testing. this is a real load off of me. I don't even mind that I will be "fresh Meat". It just means that I am progressing. So not as bad as I though but not so good either.

On other fronts he went and had to ask me if there were other things bothering me. SO I told him and we are now fixing that problem too. I think that if only one or 2 things had happened recently I would have been ok but with buying a house. messing up my knee, my mother dieing, not knowing where to put my kids in school, all on top of having a baby, he said I had a snowballs chance in hell of getting out of it. Hey it was worth a try though right.

So there you have I am one messed up chick. talk at ya later.

TaeKwando Woes.

I can't even put into words how disappointed I am with myself. this whole knew thing I am almost afraid to think of what is going to happen with it.

I LOVE this sport. I have been wanting something like this in well it seems like forever. I have always wanted a sport where I could take my gospel principles and teachings and use them to what I feel like is 100 percent. This sport does that. It teaches centering and listening to our insides it teaches Nourishment both mind and body. It even states that we must live in a world but not be of it. How much better could it get.

I want so bad to advance and prove myself in this sport. I KNOW I have never wanted anything more than to do this. I haven't wanted a certain animal or even a house more than I want this. For those of you that know me you know this is BIG.

Right now I can only hope that I haven't pushed my knee farther than it will go. SO that I can no longer do this.

Just so you know my future goal is to get to trainee instructor so that when i am able I will be able to open my own school here in the springs on the east side I really think I even have the PERFECT spot for a gym.

Pray for my knee and that I will be able to continue. I NEED to be able to do this.

I am really cheesed off right now.

I all but got my knew back and somehow today I screwed it up again. It isn't as bad but Dang does it hurt. i can feel the pain all the way into my dang ankle. I am really pissed that i did it. I really need to start focusing on what I am doing in class. I have when I only think of class I do fine when I don't well I do this. I am calling the Dr in the morning to set an apt to look at it and I will more than likely have an MRI done soon. I am just praying it doesn't keep me from testing cause Dang it I KNOW this stuff.

puzzles houses and GOD

Dealing with this whole house mess we have been in. I am beginning to think this is my FIH way of teaching me faith without works is dead thing.

We were in walmart looking at puzzles, they had some really nice ones that i would love to do.

Anyway it got me thinking that when we did things that is when this house got going. We went looking at a house put an offer in and a better one (less crime) pops up. We put in that offer, I started really cleaning the house and the offer was accepted. I got the kids into any school and started packing and they are willing to fix the basement. Just little things but it seemed to make a huge difference.

i think of it like a puzzle you get the thing all most finished and there are just a few pieces left but they don't seem to fit. you move one and in it goes. right into place. you turn a few more and right into place they go, you can fight and fight and fight to get it in the you think it should go and the minute you let go and just turn pop in it goes and the picture is complete.

sorry to take a post just my ramblings and observations.

Memories of mom

Now that you have heard about the "temper " how about a funny.

My mother has always had the typical female animal fears. you know snakes, rats, mice. WE having me as a dd was not easy on those fears. If it crawled, slithered, walked, or flew, I wanted to bring it home and care for it. I always had something. I used to catch the mice in the house and keep them in my bedroom vanity drawer. I had Rats that a friend couldn't keep anymore so I took them. we had Horny toads every summer. we have taken care of baby rabbits and baby ducks right along with the puppies and kittens that every child loves.

I remember that both of my parents were very big proponents of leave better than you found it. More than once we would find and injured bird that the neighbor boy had shot with his bb gun not thinking. These were not your regular birds either, we have housed great horned owls and brown eagles.

The one bird though that will forever echo in my mind was the Killdeer. That neighbor boy shot at everything and this time he did a doosy .



For those of you that don't know most times when a Killdeer acts injured it is because she is protecting a nest so at first we thought that was what she was doing. As we watched though she didn't fly back to the nest. Being me we had to help her. so my mother gathered a blanket and a box scooped up the bird and brought her home. we called the sanctuary (which was where most of our friends after the weekend went) but they didn't accept the very common birds. My mother the nurse wrapped the birds wing and looked at me and said either she will live or she won't but will will keep her till whatever happens happens. She was a very quite birds for the first I would say 3 weeks and we seriously though she would die. Then came the day we knew she would be ok. Killdeers are NOT quite birds when hey are well they shriek and shriek and well coming from under the computer desk came this shrieking after about one more week my mother looked at me and said she is better and needs to go ( noise was giving her a headache). SO we took her out to my grandfathers Ranch and set her free. I learned 2 things from that, the first was that my mother loved me no matter what and other was sacrifice in any form almost always pays off.

if you want to hear what was in my house for a month go here: http://www.birdwatchersdigest.com/site/backyard_birds/bird_id/killdeer.aspx

happy from the sad.

I have no doubt i my mind that my mother is still watching over our not so little family. As we were in the funeral my husband and his bil got calls. the call from my BIL was that my dh's baby sister had just had her second child and named her Cloe Arielia Prescott.

THe second and the one that lets me know mom is still taking care of her kids was the Realtor we have been working with while trying to get a house. He was calling to let us know that the house that we had put an offer n 3 weeks earlier was finally accepted.

YOu have to understand my mother to know she had a hand in it. See back when my younger brother was about 14 he had an early morning cow milkin' job and he was really good at it. well scouting was there too and he wanted his eagle and was doing everything possible to get it. this interupted with milkin' since A) he wouldn't milk on sunday. and B) he couldn't do milkin' on scout night. But he loved the job and his boss loved him. well then sports came along and he wanted badly to do football which ment more time that he couldn't milk. The boss decided that since there were some many times that he couldn't do the milkin' that he would just have to let my brother go. It all but destroyed my brother. He came home and being " A MAN" he didn't want to cry but was visibly hurt by the firing. Well my mother was on the phone so fast with his boss that I swear I could hear his head spin. She asked if my brother had done and was doing a good job for him, I can only assume he said yes. she then asked if he wasever late or slacked off at work again I can only assume he said no. she then told him that if he was doing a good job and wasn't wasting his time then he had no grounds to fire him and that if he didn't rehire him that minute she would be taking him to court.

she almost always carried a walking sick because of her feet and back and I could just see her standing of some dang banker that was looking our offer and in that same non yelling yell tell him that she was sick and tired of seeing us move and that we needed that house and that if he didn't give us that house she would haunt him till the day HE died. I know she is still defending her kids and that she still loves them with all her heart.

up and down and all around.

THis has been a hard week fro me My mom passed away on Aug 4th 2006. we traveled to UT via Van (7kids 2 adults 1 van =AAAUUUGGGHH)help clean up the house just a little (that part was HARD) then went and dressed mom ( i can say that at least it was nice getting to know my SIL's ) did her makeup She looked so nice. it was an interesting experience that I hope not to have to do for a long time. we laughed and cried and laughed some more and cried some more. She was finally my friend and I will miss her. I know those that read this will be counted as my friends as well, but I could count on my mom to say just the right thing when I needed it. She was a great person to bounce cub Ideas off of and just a great listener.



We had the viewing on Wednesday from 6-8 and My great friends brought me a precious gift to remember my mother by and I am so grateful for that feeling of love. It makes things just a little easier knowing that other down here care for me too. they did the family hour just before that where they explained to all grand kids where grand ma is now and that she is happy and ok. after the veiwing We had a round robin where we told all of our favorite memories of Mom and what she meant to us. My Mother was great even in her fears. I will always and forever remember that no matter what she let us be us. I could bring home what ever and she accepted it. I has snakes (she hated those) lizards (yup hated those too) and Mice (yup those too) not to mention the other Million animals she wasn't afraid of that I brought home. Not once did she ever scream and hide or tell me it had to go out.she just took it in stride. She was even allergic to dogs ans cats ans we always had those growing up.

I am so grateful for that knowledge of the preexistence and eternal life. I am so grateful for t he knowledge I have of my father in Heaven. I know that my mother is happy healthy young and beautiful again. Her back no longer hurts and all those other pains are gone as well. I know she is still watching ans will still hurt when we hurt laugh when we laugh cry when we cry. I know I will see her again and that this will be such fleeting moment for her.

I am the one that will miss her. I will miss her laughter he Halloween fun. The way the house after church smelled of pot roast on Sunday, and tacos on Christmas eve just won't be the same. Every time I see a speckled Cow in the store I will want to buy it for her and I can't. I will always remember her in funky blue eyeshadow.

Her funeral was very well done and will be remembered for making us laugh and cry together. during the dedication of her grave site my husband recieved the call we had been praying for and I know my mother had a hand in making our home possible. I also found out at the same time my new niece Cloe Aurelia Prescott was born. It was wonderful to hear of the gift of life as another passed back though the veil.

after the dedication we did the raditional dinner thing and ate with family and friends and then just my family and my fathers family went to My mother's favorite park and we took some pictures and we just talked. WE must have been there for hours but it was definitely time we needed. you could see the cemetery from the park and just as we were leaving to go home a doe (one of my mothers fav animals ) bounded across the park just in front of us.

we continued my mother born reunion at the pizza party where we say and ate pizza and then talked and talked till we all HAD to go. It was almost like we didn't want to leave. My mothers death brought us all together and I am grateful for that as well. It was so good to see my cousins and I was so sad that we haddn't kept up more but maybe this will redouble those efforts.

I know it will be hard for a few weeks and i will cry more than not. but I so grateful for the knowledge the my heavenly father is hold her perfect spirit in her arms that he is loving her and with the same breath loving me and bringing me peace. I am glad to know he sends me those that comfort me and that some how I can share with them my feelings and testimony. i am glad for the knowledge that I can share.

ever had one of those days

I had one today. I swear my patients was being tried.

lets start my morning with my dd S Screaming and finding that she thinks her brother T is trying to get her. this is at 7 this morning. Talk to T and tell him the flat out truth. he has gotten so angry lately that his younger siblings are afraid of him and that he needs to calm down and think things through. Before he says or does anything. This makes him cry.

fast forward to non of my kids wanting to go to the morning class of TKD and all wanting to go this evening only to find out that DH is not going tonight and that we need to go this morning. Much moaning and groaning ensue. on the way to said morning class My son S mentions off handedly that his pants smell like pee. Not knowing anything and not smelling said odor myself I tell him it is more than likely sweat and to just get dressed. As we get to the do jang son S lags behind and informs me that he had wet his pants after the last class and was afraid to tell me thinking I would be mad. He doesn't want to go to class and is embarrassed to even change back into his other clothes. luckily little sister thought she knew why he didn't go to class there by giving him a great excuse.

Then when we are in there I tell said little sister that she needs to get dressed for her private lesson and she goes to look in her bag only to find the shirt she wants to wear is at home with no other shirt to wear. SO off goes mom back home. she says the shirt is in her bedroom so I go in there to look for it and step on a wet pile of clothes. YUCK!!!! Pick them up and bigger yuck they are peed on. My dd S had her bathing suit on and couldn't get it off before she got to the toilet but again lets not tell mom. So now I have 2 areas of peed in clothes and I find a shirt and get back to TKD.

SO I walk in and my B is in the swing that I would like the baby in and so I move her. She starts to cry as I am putting the baby in the swing and I hear the worst sound in the world to a mom , the sound of your child trying NOT to throw up ( unsuccessfully I might add.) Turns out it wasn't much as there was nothing but SUGAR in my little girls stomach. See I had told her to come down and get some breakfast just before I had that discussion with my son about his anger. well she decided to get her own and for breakfast she had one scoop of powdered raspberry lemonade No water just ice and she ate that for breakfast. Needless to say my B got an early lesson about eating too much sugar with out real food.

Then we got out and all done with TKD and I gather all the kids into the van and get in to start it. turn the key and it turns over and then stops. I try again same thing. I look at the gages, it isn't over heated there is oil in the van it has gas. SO I try again with the same result for 10 minutes I do this to no avail. Now I am afraid I am going to flood the dang thing and it really won't start. so I sit for just a minute and then try again. finally this time it literally ROARS to life. I do the rest of the things I need to and we go home.

I have to go to walmart for my dd and get her some thing so I head out praying that things will be ok at home for a few and that the van will continue to be good. NOT 2 minutes after I leave the house and my C calls and says T and J just called me the B word mom. I told her to tell them to watch thier mouth that I had soap .

everything after that point wasn't so bad. I even got a dinner with real grown ups this evening.

If you got this far you are far better than I give you credit for and I thank you.