thought of mom today

I thought of my mom a lot today. I know she is here with me. I almost went to call her again because a dear friend who has all ready lost so much (they lost their baby just before Ky was born) has a father in the hospital. His father has a brain bleed and right now they have slowed it down but they can't stop it. his father no longer remembers his name and the prognosis isn't good. SO I about called mom to ask her about it and then I remembered I can't. I can talk to her without the phone. I know she is with me and them (she met them and became close to them while here for the baby blessing) and is watching over them.

My Janet truely misses her "grama" I found a book she has been keep since she past. on one page all it says over and over is I want to talk to grama but I can't she is dead. I want her to call me toad but I can't hear her anymore. It hurt so bad to read that. I knew she had a special bond with my mom but I didn't realize till then just how close a bond that was.

I only hope that I too can be a "grama" to my grand kids.

It was funny cause at the funeral everyone wanted to see "their Janet" having been named after my fav aunt, all of her kids (most have all grown up) wanted to see Janet, and how big she is getting. It is a eminder to me that things do get easier and memories grow fond.