Its NEw Years

our new years eve was a blast me 2 1/2 year old rand around the house saying "we're having a party, we're having a party"



my kids decorated the ceiling fan

and we watched Mr bean's vacation and HSM2. the kids wore hats and blew horns

and mom played with the camera. This is what I got

oh the last day of the year.

part of me is excited at the possibilities of the new year and the other is sad to see the the last turn to memories. I was just thinking this morning that this time last year i was out to here(-------) pregnant, and actually enjoying the PG. Now I have a sweet little girl learning to crawl, eating everything in sight and still not gaining too much, though I suppose that if I crawled as much as she did I wouldn't gain to much either.

The last year has been interesting to say the least. I have (lets see) been pg, gotten pneumonia, had a beautiful baby, started the best exercise for me, reached a senior green in that sport and going to blue in just over 4 weeks. I have seen babies born and my mother pass to the other side, bought a house watched it flood, and wish for nicer things. Made new friends and wished for old ones to be closer when I needed hugs. I have found ways to fight depression and won and lost a few bouts with it. I have discovered that my body is older than I would like to believe, and stronger than I thought. I have forgotten and regained testimonies and found things to believe in so strongly that at times it hurts when other don't believe the same. I have felt the compassion of others and long for the day when that compassion can be returned. I have enjoyed and struggle with parenthood, tried to be a better home maker (still working on that) and found ways to truly enjoy who I am.

I have hopes for the new year with new strategies put in place for house home and family. I hope and pray that we strive to do better in all that we do be it play family work or religion. I wish this for all as well.

Please have a happy new year and make the best of it.

not so pretty in pink

well this is a fine kettle of fish I am in. my dd has a really nasty case of pink eye, and while I love it when she shares things, I really wish she hadn't shared this. I woke this morning and only one eye wanted to wake up. It burns and hurts and just plain doesn't feel good.

To top it off I all ready had a nastish cold virusy thing going so now I have a very blood shot eye and a cold virusy thing.

Top that off with the fact that the baby doesn't want me to put her down and The Breeze just keep teasing the baby and we have a great sounding house this morning. not to mention the fact that i AM NOT going to church because of it.

The good news is that dh paid tithing.

Which way do I go.

I am begining to think that may be the pain that has been growing in my side is imagined and that I just need to say get over it and go on with life. I went to see a surgeon today and he is ordering ANOTHER set of US and then we go from there.

I am not one that like poking an proding. I don't have time for poking a proding my husband doesn't have time fort he poking and proding because every time I have to be poked and proded he has to come home from work which costs us money. All the tests well they cost us money. I have bills coming out my ears which basically means agian at Christmas we have NO MONEY. I am tired of not being able to get mey kids what they need much less things that I know they would like and I am Tired of feeling lik a pauper beggging for hand outs from my rich and welthy neighbors.

BBAAAAAHH HUMBUG.

Nuff said.

I need to cry for a while

I just hurt. depression sucks. I have been fighting with it for so long and I have too many friends for whom the devil has stuck his toe in though that door. I have heard people say how they would just like to stay in bed. I wonder how many of them have actually hurt when they do get out of bed. how many could just stay in bed and let tim(months and even years) pass by. I know this fight. I have day where getting out of the bed is my biggest accomplishment, I don't do much else on days like that. Others I manage to shower. The goods days are coming closer and closer I think but I am still always tired.

I am beginning to realize that this is how he hurts families. Whole families. Think about it. the mom on my big fat greek wedding was so right. Men are the head of the house but the woman(mother) is the neck that turns the head. How better to break down Gods most important unit. When you get a kink in your neck doesn't it hurt to Turn, bend, and do just about anything? So when we feel like crap as mothers it makes sense that the rest of the house does too.

I read my PB the other day ( found it after a VERY long time) and noticed that I am to be my husbands biggest support. Both in his career and with his priesthood calling and duties as a father. I have noticed that when I trying to that support ( like kiss him before work and let him know he is loved, even asking for blessing) he is better and more willing to do those things. The trouble comes when I can't see through the muck to make anyone feel better because I don't feel good either.

I am fighting and will continue to fight( sometimes the end of the day feels like I have been beat up) and just keep movin' (for those country people I think you can guess the song in my head). I pray for those that fight the fight with me, and I cry when the day just needs it.

when God listens

Well ya know they tell ya not to pray for things you are not ready for. well I guess I was ready for what I prayed for cause I got it.

In the course of my morning prayers yesterday I asked of opportunities to serve. my dh calls me and asks me if I had found a turkey yet and I told him no. So he sends me to KS and I am to buy a Turkey. As I pull in to the parking stall, in my old and busted GMC, a brand new highlander is having trouble starting. I watch the old guy for a while then I roll down the window (which won't roll back up when I am done) and ask him if he needs to be jumped. He says he isn't sure he has never had this ahappen before (hello NEW) . I tell him I keep cables with me and I pop my hood and grab the cables. I swear as soon and that new car knew we were going to make it go it started right up.

Later that night there is a knock at the door, and it is our part memeber family. He isn't she is and yes there are kids. they had a bunch of clothes that didn't fit anymore and were sharing with us. As we are talking i asked when the dd turned 12 . Next month so I told her that when she turned 12 I would be more than happy to giver her a ride to yw, the mother loved the idea. while she was there she mentioned that they really should get back to church and well there i was again, telling them if they needed a ride it would be cramped but we would manage. I have to tel ya at the end of the night i just felt so good being in the right place at the right time. And the blessing are all ready flowing in.

Tears for a friend

I am now just as sad as the day my mother died. I cry not for me this time but for a dear friend whose father has been fighting for his life for the past 6 years. you see that is when they gave his father 6 months to live due to a stroke and some cancers. He fought for another 5 and half years to be with his family. It still doesn't help though, the hurt is still there when they are gone. I know that he will see him again, and he knows it but dang it it isn't knowing that you will see them again that hurts. It is next week when he goes to pick up the phone to call him and he won't be there. It is when he is extremely proud of one of his children's accomplishments and can't wait to tell his dad. It isn't those that have gone on to the perfection of the afterlife that hurt, it is those ,that for the time being, they have left behind.

I am extremely grateful to know of the afterlife and that all the pain of missing them will melt when I see my mother, Aunt, and other great and wonderful relatives. I am grateful to know that the atonement has taken away and and all of their pain. I KNOW that they are doing the work that they are meant to do. Once in a while though on days like today I hurt just a little.

my rant against the school system

I thought for sure that my kids would have today off as it is veterans day. Their father is a Veteran and I know he fought hard to keep our freedom. Sure he didn't fight in a major battle but dang it so many of them have died fighting for us. I love that my husband did his part for the freedom or our country and I am proud of all of those who are now fighting for the safety of our country. I believe that MLK did some great things but not at the expense of our countries freedom like so many others have. He did some really great things, things that forever changed our society, but he was one man and they traded that off for all our heroes.

Any my kids don't officially have today off but me being the person I am they do now. I called the school and told them that they weren't coming in. For me it is a matter of now forgetting what we have and why we have it. I am a PROUD American. Yes I am made of of Irish, English, Scottish, even some French and Cherokee, but I live in America I speak English. I obey the laws of this land and I don't think I could be anywhere else.

So my kids are off today and if I had it my way they would go to school on MLK day and that would be fine with me. enough of my soap box my kids and I are going to go and find a veteran's day activity.

my topsy turvey weekend

First things first I am bummed. I was a psyched up to test I was ready to get my senior green and get out of the fresh meat category. I have a sore stomach for 2 days and then the morning of the testing I woke up with the nastiest of burp. I mean that is what woke me up. I looked at Dh and told him I wouldn't be moving for a while. He went down and made breakfast and got the kids ready for testing and that my friends is when it all started I was sick really sick both ends and I hate the upper end stuff but I wasn't to thrilled about the lower end this time either. I could not even pass a little gas because I would have to RUN for it. needless to say I am still fresh meat and will have to late test this Saturday. Jane will have a retest as well since she was so slow at sparring and didn't pass that portion of her testing. My friends son didn't break his board and so he will be testing as well, at least I will not be alone. my stomach we athat bad the whole day and into this morning but at least today I can hold things down. I weighed my self this morning though and only weighed 192 so there is the upside to not having ANYTHING in your body for a full day. Today we got up and I think my baby may have it. I just had to clean her up after she got daddy with what can only be called explosive. My stomach still isn't happy but at least I can eat today and hold it in.

We didn't go to church today (two fold of course) We had stake conference and we have yet to go get to one of those while living here. We went all the time when we were in CA and here just not happening. I don't know if it is that we have to go at 9 in the morning because the Stake Center is so small, or if is is because every freaking time we think we are going, somebody gets sick. At any rate we didn't go again.

SO instead of going I clean and reorganized my room much to the chagrin of my hubbie. I emptied out 6 of his boxes and consolidated them into 2 so that I got rid of 4 boxes of just crap that we didn't need. now I have the room set up to where I think it makes much more sense. Now all I need is to pick some color to go on the walls.

I got one room decorated though. It was done around the last thing my mom gave me. I think it turned out well, ok so it is only the quest bathroom but still that is one more room than i had last week.

Noq I am babysitting my friends kids so that they can go see some comedian tonight. I was going to just take the baby and go to their house but well now they are here at my house because their TV blew up. so I have them here. NO big deal they don't have school tomorrow and even though my kids do they are not going. their father is a Vet and I am of the beleif that our veterans dieing daily are far more important than one person. So my kids are honoring their father tomorrow.

ok if you got that far good for you.

FUll moon's a risin'

I know I haven't been here in a while and I should come more often but lately I feel like the only things I ever say are either about TKD, kids, or about my mom. And this will be yet another one of those. In fact it will be all 3.

lets start with the kids and the fact that I would like to just throttle a couple of them. K as you know we just bought a new house ( pictures will be soon I promise) and there were unexpected expenses. SO for Halloween I pulled out the old costumes and for the most part the kids were happy to even be able to have a costume. Just one decided to have a complete melt down aobut how he didn't want to be the same thing again this year (not that he is the same thing but he doesn't want to anyway) he won't tell me what he does want to be just what he doesn't and he is acting like a 2 year old. Oh the reason I know it is a full moon the crybaby is not the usual suspect it is the good one, what happened to my Sean.

NOw on to the TKD which Iwill more than likely not be testing for my senior green belt not only because I can't seem to go regularly enough to pass off the stripes but my knee is bugging to the point that on monday I go in for the dreaded MRI. I hate this and I don't want to go but I know at this point if I don't go it will be far worse and I will have more problems tan I want to deal with.

Now on to Mom Monday is her birthday and I was going to record something on the mic for her bday present as she always loved to hear me sing but our dang comp died and now I can't . I know some of you have been asking that I do something like this but now t looks like it just isn't going to happen. now si am stuck I want to do something for her birthday but i jsut don't know what to do.

Ok this makes the end of the poor pity me rant.

thought of mom today

I thought of my mom a lot today. I know she is here with me. I almost went to call her again because a dear friend who has all ready lost so much (they lost their baby just before Ky was born) has a father in the hospital. His father has a brain bleed and right now they have slowed it down but they can't stop it. his father no longer remembers his name and the prognosis isn't good. SO I about called mom to ask her about it and then I remembered I can't. I can talk to her without the phone. I know she is with me and them (she met them and became close to them while here for the baby blessing) and is watching over them.

My Janet truely misses her "grama" I found a book she has been keep since she past. on one page all it says over and over is I want to talk to grama but I can't she is dead. I want her to call me toad but I can't hear her anymore. It hurt so bad to read that. I knew she had a special bond with my mom but I didn't realize till then just how close a bond that was.

I only hope that I too can be a "grama" to my grand kids.

It was funny cause at the funeral everyone wanted to see "their Janet" having been named after my fav aunt, all of her kids (most have all grown up) wanted to see Janet, and how big she is getting. It is a eminder to me that things do get easier and memories grow fond.

fresh meat here I come

I got my Red stripe tonight and this means I have enough classes and have all my stripes to test in 2 weeks.

This last stripe is the one that I am most proud of because I had to work extra hard to get it with my bum knee. I had to learn new ways do certain moves so that I would not injure it further. I had to learn to slow down and look at what i was doing and think things through. I was also really afraid that I would have to learn the moves backwards and relearn entire steps so as not to hurt eh knee. THat or not test at all, and like I said that would just about kill me.

so as I sit here again Icing my knee I am profoundly aware that this is what I love to do and my HF has sent me the best instructor he possible could to help me reach my goals.

Oh and in case you are wondering why I said fresh meat here I come. that is what they call all of the new green belts. we will be sparring for the first time in about 2 weeks.

More TKD

I know you guys get sick of hearing this but to damn bad this is what I do. I went to class tonight and got a semi private lesson with Mr Tuck (instructor) he has had the exact same problem with his knee that I now have and he was able to give me some pointers on how to get though testing without hurting. It was rather nice to have him help me on that and I am pretty sure I will be able to test just fine, he is very aware of what is wrong and is giving me lots of leeway.


I am quite STOKED to test this time around because then I won't have to do one steps again until I am a brown belt. WOO HOO. I am just not fond of remember all the one steps though i know it will help when it comes to sparring. I do like it when I nail and know i have it down like I did before re injuring this stupid knee. I will nail it again and i will KNOW it so well that nothing will stop me not even a bum knee.

Is there more?

SO as part of my treatment I am suppose to Ice my knee every morning and night. so while I am doing this for 20 minutes I have NOTHING to do so I figured I would blog. I mean I have a pack that i don't have to hold so that my fingers are free to type. Now all I have to do is think of something to write about.

Ok so as MOST of you know I am LDS (Mormon). I have been trying to read at least one verse in the scriptures each morning just for me. This mornings was a tried and true scripture. It was all about keeping the commandments. This got me thinking. In the blessing I received a week ago,ok last monday, I was told to take care of myself so that I could better take care of my family. Now to me that would be a commandment, a personal one but all the same a commandment. So it hits me yesterday when I went to the Dr I was finally starting to heed that comandment, but I am wondering if there was anything more that I need to do for that. I mean I can exercise and go to the dr. I can read my scriptures but is there more? I have to leave it at that for now the kids need food.

and the diagnosis is......

well according to Dr Zirckle (love that name) I have torn my Meniscus. So whenever I am doing my pivot kicks It is flipping up and last night it flipped enough that my body reacted and dropped me like a rock. He also said that there is some fluid in there which is making it float just enough to flip more. I am now in the flexible brace for another 6 weeks (he will recheck in 4 weeks.) and I have to be careful with my pivot kicks. I am going to talk to the instructor and see what he thinks this after noon but I should be ok to do most of the testing. this is a real load off of me. I don't even mind that I will be "fresh Meat". It just means that I am progressing. So not as bad as I though but not so good either.

On other fronts he went and had to ask me if there were other things bothering me. SO I told him and we are now fixing that problem too. I think that if only one or 2 things had happened recently I would have been ok but with buying a house. messing up my knee, my mother dieing, not knowing where to put my kids in school, all on top of having a baby, he said I had a snowballs chance in hell of getting out of it. Hey it was worth a try though right.

So there you have I am one messed up chick. talk at ya later.

TaeKwando Woes.

I can't even put into words how disappointed I am with myself. this whole knew thing I am almost afraid to think of what is going to happen with it.

I LOVE this sport. I have been wanting something like this in well it seems like forever. I have always wanted a sport where I could take my gospel principles and teachings and use them to what I feel like is 100 percent. This sport does that. It teaches centering and listening to our insides it teaches Nourishment both mind and body. It even states that we must live in a world but not be of it. How much better could it get.

I want so bad to advance and prove myself in this sport. I KNOW I have never wanted anything more than to do this. I haven't wanted a certain animal or even a house more than I want this. For those of you that know me you know this is BIG.

Right now I can only hope that I haven't pushed my knee farther than it will go. SO that I can no longer do this.

Just so you know my future goal is to get to trainee instructor so that when i am able I will be able to open my own school here in the springs on the east side I really think I even have the PERFECT spot for a gym.

Pray for my knee and that I will be able to continue. I NEED to be able to do this.

I am really cheesed off right now.

I all but got my knew back and somehow today I screwed it up again. It isn't as bad but Dang does it hurt. i can feel the pain all the way into my dang ankle. I am really pissed that i did it. I really need to start focusing on what I am doing in class. I have when I only think of class I do fine when I don't well I do this. I am calling the Dr in the morning to set an apt to look at it and I will more than likely have an MRI done soon. I am just praying it doesn't keep me from testing cause Dang it I KNOW this stuff.

puzzles houses and GOD

Dealing with this whole house mess we have been in. I am beginning to think this is my FIH way of teaching me faith without works is dead thing.

We were in walmart looking at puzzles, they had some really nice ones that i would love to do.

Anyway it got me thinking that when we did things that is when this house got going. We went looking at a house put an offer in and a better one (less crime) pops up. We put in that offer, I started really cleaning the house and the offer was accepted. I got the kids into any school and started packing and they are willing to fix the basement. Just little things but it seemed to make a huge difference.

i think of it like a puzzle you get the thing all most finished and there are just a few pieces left but they don't seem to fit. you move one and in it goes. right into place. you turn a few more and right into place they go, you can fight and fight and fight to get it in the you think it should go and the minute you let go and just turn pop in it goes and the picture is complete.

sorry to take a post just my ramblings and observations.

Memories of mom

Now that you have heard about the "temper " how about a funny.

My mother has always had the typical female animal fears. you know snakes, rats, mice. WE having me as a dd was not easy on those fears. If it crawled, slithered, walked, or flew, I wanted to bring it home and care for it. I always had something. I used to catch the mice in the house and keep them in my bedroom vanity drawer. I had Rats that a friend couldn't keep anymore so I took them. we had Horny toads every summer. we have taken care of baby rabbits and baby ducks right along with the puppies and kittens that every child loves.

I remember that both of my parents were very big proponents of leave better than you found it. More than once we would find and injured bird that the neighbor boy had shot with his bb gun not thinking. These were not your regular birds either, we have housed great horned owls and brown eagles.

The one bird though that will forever echo in my mind was the Killdeer. That neighbor boy shot at everything and this time he did a doosy .



For those of you that don't know most times when a Killdeer acts injured it is because she is protecting a nest so at first we thought that was what she was doing. As we watched though she didn't fly back to the nest. Being me we had to help her. so my mother gathered a blanket and a box scooped up the bird and brought her home. we called the sanctuary (which was where most of our friends after the weekend went) but they didn't accept the very common birds. My mother the nurse wrapped the birds wing and looked at me and said either she will live or she won't but will will keep her till whatever happens happens. She was a very quite birds for the first I would say 3 weeks and we seriously though she would die. Then came the day we knew she would be ok. Killdeers are NOT quite birds when hey are well they shriek and shriek and well coming from under the computer desk came this shrieking after about one more week my mother looked at me and said she is better and needs to go ( noise was giving her a headache). SO we took her out to my grandfathers Ranch and set her free. I learned 2 things from that, the first was that my mother loved me no matter what and other was sacrifice in any form almost always pays off.

if you want to hear what was in my house for a month go here: http://www.birdwatchersdigest.com/site/backyard_birds/bird_id/killdeer.aspx

happy from the sad.

I have no doubt i my mind that my mother is still watching over our not so little family. As we were in the funeral my husband and his bil got calls. the call from my BIL was that my dh's baby sister had just had her second child and named her Cloe Arielia Prescott.

THe second and the one that lets me know mom is still taking care of her kids was the Realtor we have been working with while trying to get a house. He was calling to let us know that the house that we had put an offer n 3 weeks earlier was finally accepted.

YOu have to understand my mother to know she had a hand in it. See back when my younger brother was about 14 he had an early morning cow milkin' job and he was really good at it. well scouting was there too and he wanted his eagle and was doing everything possible to get it. this interupted with milkin' since A) he wouldn't milk on sunday. and B) he couldn't do milkin' on scout night. But he loved the job and his boss loved him. well then sports came along and he wanted badly to do football which ment more time that he couldn't milk. The boss decided that since there were some many times that he couldn't do the milkin' that he would just have to let my brother go. It all but destroyed my brother. He came home and being " A MAN" he didn't want to cry but was visibly hurt by the firing. Well my mother was on the phone so fast with his boss that I swear I could hear his head spin. She asked if my brother had done and was doing a good job for him, I can only assume he said yes. she then asked if he wasever late or slacked off at work again I can only assume he said no. she then told him that if he was doing a good job and wasn't wasting his time then he had no grounds to fire him and that if he didn't rehire him that minute she would be taking him to court.

she almost always carried a walking sick because of her feet and back and I could just see her standing of some dang banker that was looking our offer and in that same non yelling yell tell him that she was sick and tired of seeing us move and that we needed that house and that if he didn't give us that house she would haunt him till the day HE died. I know she is still defending her kids and that she still loves them with all her heart.

up and down and all around.

THis has been a hard week fro me My mom passed away on Aug 4th 2006. we traveled to UT via Van (7kids 2 adults 1 van =AAAUUUGGGHH)help clean up the house just a little (that part was HARD) then went and dressed mom ( i can say that at least it was nice getting to know my SIL's ) did her makeup She looked so nice. it was an interesting experience that I hope not to have to do for a long time. we laughed and cried and laughed some more and cried some more. She was finally my friend and I will miss her. I know those that read this will be counted as my friends as well, but I could count on my mom to say just the right thing when I needed it. She was a great person to bounce cub Ideas off of and just a great listener.



We had the viewing on Wednesday from 6-8 and My great friends brought me a precious gift to remember my mother by and I am so grateful for that feeling of love. It makes things just a little easier knowing that other down here care for me too. they did the family hour just before that where they explained to all grand kids where grand ma is now and that she is happy and ok. after the veiwing We had a round robin where we told all of our favorite memories of Mom and what she meant to us. My Mother was great even in her fears. I will always and forever remember that no matter what she let us be us. I could bring home what ever and she accepted it. I has snakes (she hated those) lizards (yup hated those too) and Mice (yup those too) not to mention the other Million animals she wasn't afraid of that I brought home. Not once did she ever scream and hide or tell me it had to go out.she just took it in stride. She was even allergic to dogs ans cats ans we always had those growing up.

I am so grateful for that knowledge of the preexistence and eternal life. I am so grateful for t he knowledge I have of my father in Heaven. I know that my mother is happy healthy young and beautiful again. Her back no longer hurts and all those other pains are gone as well. I know she is still watching ans will still hurt when we hurt laugh when we laugh cry when we cry. I know I will see her again and that this will be such fleeting moment for her.

I am the one that will miss her. I will miss her laughter he Halloween fun. The way the house after church smelled of pot roast on Sunday, and tacos on Christmas eve just won't be the same. Every time I see a speckled Cow in the store I will want to buy it for her and I can't. I will always remember her in funky blue eyeshadow.

Her funeral was very well done and will be remembered for making us laugh and cry together. during the dedication of her grave site my husband recieved the call we had been praying for and I know my mother had a hand in making our home possible. I also found out at the same time my new niece Cloe Aurelia Prescott was born. It was wonderful to hear of the gift of life as another passed back though the veil.

after the dedication we did the raditional dinner thing and ate with family and friends and then just my family and my fathers family went to My mother's favorite park and we took some pictures and we just talked. WE must have been there for hours but it was definitely time we needed. you could see the cemetery from the park and just as we were leaving to go home a doe (one of my mothers fav animals ) bounded across the park just in front of us.

we continued my mother born reunion at the pizza party where we say and ate pizza and then talked and talked till we all HAD to go. It was almost like we didn't want to leave. My mothers death brought us all together and I am grateful for that as well. It was so good to see my cousins and I was so sad that we haddn't kept up more but maybe this will redouble those efforts.

I know it will be hard for a few weeks and i will cry more than not. but I so grateful for the knowledge the my heavenly father is hold her perfect spirit in her arms that he is loving her and with the same breath loving me and bringing me peace. I am glad to know he sends me those that comfort me and that some how I can share with them my feelings and testimony. i am glad for the knowledge that I can share.

ever had one of those days

I had one today. I swear my patients was being tried.

lets start my morning with my dd S Screaming and finding that she thinks her brother T is trying to get her. this is at 7 this morning. Talk to T and tell him the flat out truth. he has gotten so angry lately that his younger siblings are afraid of him and that he needs to calm down and think things through. Before he says or does anything. This makes him cry.

fast forward to non of my kids wanting to go to the morning class of TKD and all wanting to go this evening only to find out that DH is not going tonight and that we need to go this morning. Much moaning and groaning ensue. on the way to said morning class My son S mentions off handedly that his pants smell like pee. Not knowing anything and not smelling said odor myself I tell him it is more than likely sweat and to just get dressed. As we get to the do jang son S lags behind and informs me that he had wet his pants after the last class and was afraid to tell me thinking I would be mad. He doesn't want to go to class and is embarrassed to even change back into his other clothes. luckily little sister thought she knew why he didn't go to class there by giving him a great excuse.

Then when we are in there I tell said little sister that she needs to get dressed for her private lesson and she goes to look in her bag only to find the shirt she wants to wear is at home with no other shirt to wear. SO off goes mom back home. she says the shirt is in her bedroom so I go in there to look for it and step on a wet pile of clothes. YUCK!!!! Pick them up and bigger yuck they are peed on. My dd S had her bathing suit on and couldn't get it off before she got to the toilet but again lets not tell mom. So now I have 2 areas of peed in clothes and I find a shirt and get back to TKD.

SO I walk in and my B is in the swing that I would like the baby in and so I move her. She starts to cry as I am putting the baby in the swing and I hear the worst sound in the world to a mom , the sound of your child trying NOT to throw up ( unsuccessfully I might add.) Turns out it wasn't much as there was nothing but SUGAR in my little girls stomach. See I had told her to come down and get some breakfast just before I had that discussion with my son about his anger. well she decided to get her own and for breakfast she had one scoop of powdered raspberry lemonade No water just ice and she ate that for breakfast. Needless to say my B got an early lesson about eating too much sugar with out real food.

Then we got out and all done with TKD and I gather all the kids into the van and get in to start it. turn the key and it turns over and then stops. I try again same thing. I look at the gages, it isn't over heated there is oil in the van it has gas. SO I try again with the same result for 10 minutes I do this to no avail. Now I am afraid I am going to flood the dang thing and it really won't start. so I sit for just a minute and then try again. finally this time it literally ROARS to life. I do the rest of the things I need to and we go home.

I have to go to walmart for my dd and get her some thing so I head out praying that things will be ok at home for a few and that the van will continue to be good. NOT 2 minutes after I leave the house and my C calls and says T and J just called me the B word mom. I told her to tell them to watch thier mouth that I had soap .

everything after that point wasn't so bad. I even got a dinner with real grown ups this evening.

If you got this far you are far better than I give you credit for and I thank you.

The family TKD

Well I know have a bunch of brown belts in my house. My kids past their testing and are now brown belts.

Christine is nearing the height of her dad.

Tyler is Right in the middle of Tweendom.
Sean desperately wants to grow so that he can get a bigge uniform

and Janet will beat him if he doesn't hurry.

I got the kids into this for various reasons. Christine really wanted to do it and that was not a problem. Tyler needed somewhere that he could go and just be mad but with a purpose. Sean is just so athletic that there was no stopping him, and Janet desperately needed somewhere where she could be proud of what she does and over come her shyness. I got all that ad then some. My kids have made great friends and they are all more confidant in their abilities.

they also go awards for attendance it was second through 4th the 5th place and the first place were not in our family.My husband also got his Blue belt.My little girl Sydnie got her yellow BAR (she is a cub)And I got my yellow (yeah me)

I started because well face it I need the exercise but more than that I needed to know I could do something. I have a Horrible shyness when it comes to doing things in front of people. I choke up and just don't seem to do so well. but with this I have to go in front of 4 black belts and do the very best I can. When I do I am positively rewarded.

We are almost always teased because we are the largest family in TKD, I am not sure that it will stay that way but it would be cool to hope so.


My friends say that we need to have a shirt made that says the family that spars together stays together.

I say we need one that says don't mess with Shumways we Kick TKD butt, or breaking boards promotes family unity.

Ok just a couple of little things. first off I am half tempted to take out the last post. We are not getting that house. We found out that it is a REALLY high crime area and not one we wanted our kids to be in. SO we withdrew the offer before they even knew we made one. The same day we withdrew that offer we went to another house and well this one we made an offer on and we are just waiting to hear back from them. It is a foreclosure, which is good and bad. It means that there is no one there to wait to move out. but it also means that we have to wait on a bank to to decide on the offer. Oh and with foreclosure you almost all ways deal with something wrong. In this case they took everything that wasn't nailed down. Including the Jacuzzi from the basement and ALL the appliances in the kitchen. There is no range, no fridge, no washer and dyer, no microwave ( above the range), and no dishwasher, they even tried to take the garage door opener. The good news is that it means we can put in Gas to the range and get a gas range and a gas dryer just a bit easier.

So cross your fingers folks here we go again.

houses and nerves

ok I found the house that I could so spend a long time in if not the rest of my life in. It is SOOOOOOOOO beautiful.... I will post pictures in a bit. but I could use prayers that my hubbie decides this is the house we need so that we can make an offer on it SOON. The house could use just a little work and it would be so right for us. The bedrooms are a bit on the small side but other than that it really is a nice house. I am totally in love with the livingroom dining room and kitchen. and heck the backyard too for that matter. The pics here are of the kitchen and back yard.

As for the nerves. Could use guys please pray that I don't get nervous tomorrow morning and that I remember the things I need to in order to pass testing. I do plan on getting a Blessing tonight, but normally I get Really nervous in front of leaders and such and I will be going in front of 4 to five 5th level black belt and I think I am ready to chew my fingers off. I know I have the steps and the form down it is just a matter of me not tripping myself up

I will tell you all how it goes on Tuesday after promotions.

Ok so what do you do when NOTHING goes right.

I swear today the devil was listening in on every conversation that I had. when I got up this morning I came down and the basement was in total disarray after I had cleaned it 2 days ago. then I wanted to go and get a work out but didn't want to go in the middle of the day. DO what did dh do. He didn't come home till OH around 730 when class STARTED. so I didn't go. I came home and tried to do the work out on my own here gut that is impossible as everyone in the house needs ME. SO now I have eaten WAY to much today and go no workout NOR was I able to take out my aggressions and now there is a major thunderstorm moving in. I swear even the the weather is out to get me today. I just can't catch break, the good news is that my callorie count is in the right place. The bad news is that it was almost all fat and protein there was no fiber in there at all.

well I am off to bed and I am going to get back on the wagon in the morning. TTFN.

My 52 Confessions

- and i am tagging Lisa, Jeana, and Heidi to continue this.

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be?
generally I think of Jeana she is the one that calls the most often and gets my but in gear.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
depends on how many kids are with me

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
yup over and over and over and over.

4. Do you take compliments well?
depends on who's giving it. Hubbie and family not so well other humbly

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Tried and failed miserable

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
yup thank you daddy.

7. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would save?
My kids my pictures and if she is lucky the bunny.

8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?
you mean besides my husband. My baby girl

9. Who do you text the most?
my husband before the texting was taken off.

10. Favorite children's book?
Nonna's Porch

11. Eye color?
hazel green

12. How tall are you?
5'8" half inch taller than my family

13. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you?
and give up these beautiful kids. NOT A CHANCE

14. Any secret admirers?
how would i know.

15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
not for like 4 years.

16. Favorite ex..?
The only EX I left on decent terms, died at the age of 22 of Cancer. the other have had stints in prison.

17. Where was the furthest place you traveled?
UT to CA then back to CO

18. Do you like mustard?
Only on bratwursts

19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
WTF kind of question is this???? <----I am with her

21. Do you miss anyone?
yup my baby brother dang that military

22. Can you do splits?
almost give me a few more weeks.

23. What movie do you want to see right now?
borne Ultimatum

24. What did you do for New Year's Eve?
banged pots and pans and called people in vegas and Alaska

25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
never saw it wouldn't know.

26. Do you own a camera phone?
yes I do.

27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
nope wouldn't have been caught dead doing that.

28. What is the last letter of your middle name?
E

29. Are you hispanic?
nope lots of other but not that.

30. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Not enough, maybe 5 talk to the 10 week old she dictates that.

31. Do you like care bears?
grew out of those a long time ago

32. What do you buy at the Movies?
black licorice, and a soda.

33. Do you know how to play poker?
I do. don't play though

34. Do you wear your seatbelt?
most of the time now.

35. What do you wear to sleep?
hmmm that one is best left to me.

36. Anything big ever happen in your CITy?
I haven't lived anywhere that really big things ever happen in when I am there. Oh except SLC we were there when the tornado came.

37. Is your hair straight or curly?
wave kindof does it's own thing

38. Is your tongue pierced?
nope

39. Do you like Liver and Onions?
the last time I had it, it wasn't bad

40. Do you like funny or serious people better?
sarcastic is the people that usually gravitate to me.

41. Ever been to L.A.?
only a drive by can't stand the freeway though.

42. Who is on your mind right now?
actually my baby brother. I miss him.

43. Any plans for tonight?
same thing I do every other day TKD

44. Whats your fav. song at the moment?
still have to say "he cheats". or maybe "anyway"

45. Do you hate chocolate?
I could do with out it.

46. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Usually it is how I am raising my kids. generally I just roll my eyes and ignore them.

47. Are you a gullible person?
I try not to be

48. Do you need a boyfriend / girlfriend to be happy?
are you kidding there are times I don't need my hubbie either

49. If you could have any job what would it be?
I am working on My veterinary Tech thing so that I can do pet sitting or pet breeding.

50. Are you easy to get along with?
Until you piss me off. <--- I love this chick!!!!! yup have to agree.

51. What is your favorite time of day?
When ALL my kids are GONE. either in bed or out of the house.

52. Are you generally a happy person?
I think I am getting better at this.

One stripe closer

I am now one more stripe closer to having all my stripes for Testing in a week and today was one of the ones that I was most worried about, the form... Now if I can just get the one steps down I think I do ok at the ARC's (basically those are escape skills), then I will have all the stripes for testing and All the classes as of monday.

I guess it is worth it.

I got my first compliment today. Have been doing TKD for a week now and I went to enrichment tonight and one of the gals there told me she could all ready see a differance and I was thinking I don't think so I mean how can one week do that much but I went to nurse the baby and Oh my gosh I have shape .my bottom is rounding and my legs have actual muscle. Now when my brain and body do the work together then I will be so excited about all this. Right now though I am a nervous frustrated wreck though I know once this is all done I will be psyched. My instructor says give it 2 months and I will more than likely be down 20 pounds. I really think that will only happen if I can lay off the Ice cream sandwiches. I do feel better about myself though and I am finding more energy (though I wish it were during the day and not at midnight). I know that my body will get better with time and so will my mind. I am praying for a quick understanding of the forms and steps so that I can feel like I have learned something. 3 more classes and I will be able to test.


Oh the one thing that I have seen cross over into other life all ready is the the possitive thinking in TKD there is no can't. It is not a word and doesn't not belong. The instructor told me today that I needed to call someone cause they needed my mood transfer. I just am so much happier after I exercise and kick the crap out of something you have no idea.

I am so frustrated

I just can't seem to get these dang one steps down my brain and body know them but I just can't get it to think one and then do the sequence that comes after it. I am getting all most all of my form but that to is being hindered by my feet. Mister Tuck says not to worry that it will come but with testing in 2 weeks this is driving me nuts. I really don't want to be a white belt for another 8 weeks. I think at this point it would kill me.

Oh the things one sees

when house hunting. We went looking for a house yesterday and came across some that I would not wish one my worst enemy and I really mean that. there was one that had gotten stuck in the seventies even though the home wasn't built till after the 80's. it had I kids you not bob Marley stickers on everything and love beads in the doors. the dinning room had mirrored walls and well it was just plain weird.

then we saw one with solar panels that was cool and someday I would love to have them on a house then upstairs of this house was really nice and well done but when you got down stairs OMH the bathroom could have actually been cute without the WALL in the middle of it.

The next one we went to well that one was just wrong I tell you wrong. The kitchen was too small and the layout was just weird. Upstairs was OK until you got to what I think was a girls room and in the closet was a HOLE in the ceiling held up with a jewelry box. the other room smelled like what can only be described as reptile pee. Went down to the basement and then oh heck the basement was one big room with that plastic brick used as wallpaper and the white tin you use as roofing on the ceiling. They had colored lights for lighting and it had been "set up" for surround sound. there was a toilet and a sink but where the tub should have been was LARGE whole in the wall leading to the furnace . The smell in there was an unmistakable sticky sweet and lead us to believe they had a dance hall down there so that they could "do" whatever they wanted.

Neeless to say we haven't found a house yet. Pray for us there must be one somewhere.

Well, here we goooooo.....

We start really looking for a house of our own tomorrow. This has been a long time coming so I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I mean we have been renting for 15 years save one year that we owned and then lost a house. It has become easy just to not worry about it I think. Now it feels kind of like we are standing at the top of a really tall water slide and we are ready to jump in. You know that feeling of OMHeck this is a really tall really high thing, but man won't that water feel so good.

We have 6 houses to go and look at tomorrow. I will be praying that one of them is the house for us. If not there are plenty more out there.

Happy 4th

I hope you all had a very happy fourth of july.

We did first we cleaned out the van, then Dh took all of us to breakfast at Red Robin ( got to lovc bottomless fries). We came home and I forced (yes I am so dang mean) my kids to clean up the play room which looked like a tornado had been through it. I made some Jigglers for our party the same day and then we went next do to the party where the nieghbors did EVERYTHING even though this was my idea. My dh was going to get brats but ended up not doing that I think because every thing was gone.

What happened was that I had decided not to be a bump on a log this year and so I planned a $th of July party. I told Christine to invite her friend over as well and so she she goes over and asks come back over and says " they said they will think about it " I figure that they more than likely will have something to do with the family and that would be that.. She came over the next day knocked on my door and told me thanks for asking her, and that she had called her mother because she wasn't much of a cook and wanted to bring something. Well her mother used to be a caterer and all ready had the WHOLE SPREAD ready to go. I had nothing left to do it was all done. There was ranch beans, baked Mac and cheese, potatoe salad, Mac Salad, and fruit Salad. Then we went out side to do the little poppers and the snakes and stuff and then we lit the fireworks. I had no idea that there was a ban on them in the city, I mean with all the rain who knew. THe fire department Who knew, so they told us and we stopped had 2 of them left. oh darn. We cleaned up the mess and went home. Had a great party and cleaned up and went home to my house it was great I could be a great planner just not a cleaner.

The last of the Mohicans have joined the Tae

That would be me I toke my first class today and followed in the footsteps of my kids and hubbie. There are now 7 of the 9 of us in Tae and I doubt that i will take Bri long after her 4th birthday to start.

I am tired and exhausted but it felt good to go and learn something new and work at self improvement that way. I know I am doing something that will build my self confidence and give me that defense in any situation.
( wouldn't it be cool if I can get this kick down.)


Just so you all know I am the newest member of the ITA ( International Tae Kwon Do Association ) Colorado springs Tae Kwon Do.

just tired ramblings

I am tired but for some reason just can't sleep. My DH can't either it is like we are caught between needing it and not be able. THe baby used to be up at this time and that was my excuse then but I can't use that now because well the baby is asleep and has been for at least half an hour. SO the question remains why am I not in bed. I will have to be up at an unnatural hour of the morning ( anything before 10 am is unnatural LOL) and I need to get the house cleaned so that on wednesday I won't be to embarrassed to have company here for a bbq and fireworks.

the other thing that bug me is men. In particular my husband. He wants a house he doesn't. We are looking at houses we aren't. We need a house of our own we don't. I wish the man would MAKE UP HIS MIND. It is almost like he can't confront anyone, He doesn't want to talk to the Landlord about not signing a new lease or not. He doesn't want to talk to his friend about her not being our agent anymore because of her unwillingness to look into forclosures. He didn't want to know what we could qualify for and he doesn't want to go and actually look at homes that may work for our family. I tell you that man is going to drive me nuts.

and last but certainly not Least, and this relates to the above. I NEED A HOME. I need somewhere that I can do the thing that I want to do and make it look like I want it to so that it is mine. Not a landlord that will tell me when where and what to do or have. I want somewhere that if the perfect dog or cat comes along I can get that animal and not have worry about the landlord and what will happen with our lease. A friend said it best my heart truely longs for a place that is mine.

Ok I would love to go to sleep now but the baby is now awake. AAAAAUUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

just for lisa

and I purposely left out the fact that I look like Emminem and Topher Grace. Not to mention Ricky martin

No more I just can't take it.

I am tired of being the asocial blob. I am tired of sitting on my butt every friday night and saturday. I am tired of not having people over to play. I am just plain tired of it. SO I decided to have yet another get together. We are going to do steaks on the Barb for the 4th and I am inviting some of our friends over. I am going to do potatoe salad and soem other fun stuff and then we are going to shoot off fireworks because for the first time in 3 years they are not banned. I am also thinking that we need to do this more often to boot. I am tired of being the wall flower and not knowing anyone. Anyway what better way to get the junk gone than to just keep having people over so that we have to keep things cleaned up..........


Oh and I have a game for you later.

Ok That was Gross

I am a mother for heaven sakes most things do not bug me. you can give me a snake, rat, frog, bug, for the most part I don't care. I have cleaned up puke, poop hairballs, dead things and so much more and again for the most part I don't care.

This morning though that was just EWWWWE. Baby spit up and erp all the the time but this morning it went right down my shirt and into my bra. YUCK It just felt ewe and ewwe and gross.

It's a good thing they are cute.

Today I would like to tie up my girls. I swear they have been into everything. They washed their hair in the sink this morning getting water all over the all ready stinky kids bathroom. Then they played with a marker and they were blue from top to bottom. My 2 year old refuses to eat anything remotely good for her ( not that we have junk food in the house) and does nothing but drink milk from sun up to sun down and cries when she doesn't get it. If that wasn't enough tonight my neighbors had their sprinklers on and I told the kids NOT to go in them, do you think they listened to me. NO the girls got wet and then got cold it isn't warm here today so they came in got their coats on and went back out and came back with soaked pants and coats. I want to strangle them I tell you. It is a very good thing that it is time for bed and they are really really cute because if they weren't I would be will to sell of the lot of them ( minus the baby) and start all over.

a question or 2 for ya

SO what does commitment meant to you? I was reading in the scriptures this morning and now that is the question that just will not leave my brain. Thinking about it , I am committed to obey the law but is that the same as being committed to paying tithing or saying your prayers. See for me the latter is more important. I think because if I am obeying Gods law then of course I will be obeying the earths laws.

WHat about other things though like a clean house or disciplining your kids? These are the ones I suck at. I can write down a plan of action and tell my self to follow it and do well for a week or 2 but the commitment to that is just not there. With the kids, not sure if it is the whole I just don't want to hear them cry at me when they have harsh consequences or what but I tend to go easy on my kids as far as bad consequences go, and then if I do I don't always follow through with the whole thing. Like if they get grounded for a week usually in 2 or 3 days they will know that I have either forgotten or that it is just easier not to keep it up and they are done being grounded. I know I need to be WAY more committed than that but just can't seem to get there.


SO tell me what do you do to help you stay committed to those things that just seem to bug the heck right out of ya?

rambling about kids.

Ok so I have at least gotten kind in the habit. I at least look at my blog every other day and about every 2 weeks I write something. Sorry people I really am going to try harder. Life is hectic with 7 kids though ya know. Speaking of which my kids are doing much better in school. being the evil mother that I am. I put them in summer school and information is that they are doing much better. Christine kept up on her work even while at girls camp and the boys have improved their reading skills. Sean and Janet really didn't need the extra school just Tyler and Christine but it didn't hurt to have them go either. Anyway they did well and tomorrow is their last day. Christine could have done a summer band program but quite frankly I want to know that she is serious about doing that before I fork out the money for the clarinet and the music stand and music to go on it. SHe is very talented and gifted in that regard but doesn't seem to be self motivated. She is motivated right now to a really cute all be it OLD band teacher. Mister Usher will retire in 2 years and then what. SO ya know I just don't want to keep doing that. On the other hand if she is going to get serious I don't want to continue to fork out 30 bucks a month on an instument for the next 5 years either. Oh the viscous circle .


My next problem is going to be what to do with them over the next month. Don't get me wrong it will be nice to NOT have to go anywhere but then there is the whole problem of them driving me crazy for the next month. Esspecially Tyler who, for all his trying, can't seem to calm down right now for nothin' I mean the boy is off the wall. I need to find a way to channel that energy and not have him fly offthe handle emotionally for doing it. Any ideas? Ok I have to go and get the prisoners from school so I am out for now.

Lunch with Kari.

I am so sorry it took me so long to do this. I swear I am the most dis organized person there is. Kari was so fun to meet. Her kids are so cute especially little Tyler, and Kari, well Kari is beautiful. Our kids had a great time together and even baby Kyla was a doll the whole time (not so much on the way home but I digress). Kari is really easy to talk to and we ( I thought) got a long really well. we talked about everything from the looks we were getting ( with 7 kids I get those looks a lot) to what a shock it was that our friend Kylie was gone, we even talked about what a great bunch of friends we have on our board. The time Flew and we had to go.

After we left she went to the Outlets and I, well I went where I go every time I go to Lone Tree COSTCO. The inevitable happened, Somebody ALWAYS asks if they are all mine. What do I say to that " no I stole somebody's kids on the way here." OF COURSE THEY ARE ALL MINE, what you can't see the resemblance in their looks. I usually say " yes they are" and then the "Whoa" or " god bless" or "I don't know how you do it" comes in to finish up the display of shock.

We headed home and got hit by a rainstorm in spots it was raining so hard that I couldn't see the road in front of the car and at the base of the mountain in Monument I wanted to wring CDOT'S neck. There was a Lake (ok a puddle the size of a small pond) ON THE FREEWAY . your going 75 and then in a heart beat have to slow WAY down and still the water is spraying up over your car and you can't see a thing, and you are praying that no one has had to stop suddenly in front of you because you are going to hit them if they did.

We did make it home though and all in all it was a great day.

ok starting over again.

I know I royally suck at keeping up with this blog. Well tomorrow my dd heads off to girls camp for the week and I have decided that this is the time for me to work on this small problem. I mean if she is writing in her Journal every day at camp why can't I find the time to do my journal here. so lets see if I can do this every day for at least this week, who knows maybe I will get better at typing even. I also might just get better at doing the whole journal blog thing. I have a diary as well so don't worry this is the more public Let you read it stuff.

So what should I write about tomorrow. I am thinking I should put the best part of my day and the worst part. sound good to you guys?

It's all Kylie's fault (not bad)

It is all her fault that I met another friend IRL. I knew she wanted so I planned a lunch with another gal from my fav board to meet half way and have Lunch. It was great talking Face to Face and I loved every minute of it. Her kids are so cute, esspecially Tyler (yes I have one of those too) I can tell some time in the near future he will be a handful ( my Tyler was and is). the kids got along famously and had fun even without the happy meals. The only real problem we had wasn't with our kids but with the gal that was cleaning tables. First she kept trying to reseat us to a smaller area (HA) and then she told the girls they were to old to be playing in the play house (all of the kids were 12 and under). They were all so well behaved and wonderful. I will post pictures later of our event.

because I miss my friend.

and because I want to think about the possitive in my life. I am taking inspiration from BIG FAT LOSER and it opening song. It mentions what have you done to be proud of today. I need to think of the good things that I do and I am going to try to do this everyday. SO for today this is what I have done that I am proud of.

I got the dishes all done up, I have not only fed my sweet little Ky to day but was also able to pump 5 ounces to boot, I made REAL fried chicken for the first time and I didn't ruin it. Oh and I got up this morning from what I have to consider a full night of sleep and cleaned the kitchen floor, and put the mats back where they needed to be and taped them down.

Go me

This is for you Kylie.

This has been a hard week.

you know about the Friday - Sunday thing. Well when things all settled and Monday was done my BFF called and told me that another dear friend had choose to end her battle with depression. I haven't slept well since then. I am just sad. It has taken this long for me to even get to here where I can write how I feel and not cry. The Kylie before depression was a bubbly happy bend over backward for you person. Even through her fight she would never let you tell her no. SHe would do it even if you didn't think you really needed it or that she had the money to do it. Once she put her mind to it you were getting it and no was not an answer. She had the deepest love for her family and husband and always said the rest of us should be sad because she got the best man in the world. She inspired creativity and and Ideas in all of us, and she rarely got mad when others took over. She had a sense of humor that most do not ( a little of color) but could always make one laugh and feel better about themselves. She was able to laugh about herself ( breasts and depression). SHe left a wonder husband, children, Family, and friends. I will miss her deeply but I know that where she is she is being loved and comforted. I know she was not herself and if she felt she could have kept up the fight she would have.

My dd's Nick name will forever remind me of my sweet friend wh0 helped name her.


I love and will miss you Ky

did you feel that?

That was the whirlwind that was my weekend. Lets start on Friday when my kids had their first board breaking clinic. Can I just say my kids ROCK Most of them broke their boards the first time but we still didn't get done till 8:30PM then my dh went and got movies and we were home about 9:15. Now I had been waiting on my parents all day long not knowing when they had left and they have no cell. so we get home there in the drive is a small white car. There seems to be no one in it but I know it is my parents for 2 reasons. A) the antenna is decorated to the hilt with streamers and American paraphernalia. SO I send my kids to the neighbors to see if they had gone in. my dd comes back and notices the seats are reclined and my parents are out like lights in the car. we talk until at least 11 and that included the kids. Get up on Saturday and eat a bit clean at bit and then get kids read for their sparring and demo team classes. head out of the house at around 10:30am. Classes get done at 1pm and we talk for a bit and head to a THE BABY IS HERE party at my friend Ayrlee's. Randy Manned the Grill and we cooked and played and ate and played and talked till way after things should have been done, but my mom and my friend got along GREAT and my dad and was great too and the mix of member and non member friends got blurred in a good way. we got done with that at around 7pm I think? then I had to go to the store and get stuff of after the blessing and we picked up Chicken and didn't get home till after 8:30 again. we went to bed LATE again and somehow managed not only to get everyone ready but out the door to church the next morning EARLY and we were able to save some seats for relatives and friends that came to see Kyla blessed. I bawled all the way through the meeting because the couple that lost their little boy (nonmember) came to the blessing and I know that things were said that touched them. I will continue to pray that things go in the that eternal direction. Any we came home after the blessing and had some sandwiches the kids and my mom bragged about Dr Phil so we watched that and then decided that since our TKD was as much family as anything we would go to another party for a little girl that got her probationary black belt. My parents at this point decided that we were just party animals and decided to stay home and clean up form the last party, which they did they they watched a movie and slept. WE got home from that one around 6 pm and I ind of got the kids to bed almost on time. they got up this morning and started their first day of summer school. I am hoping tings will fall into a steady pattern soon. If you got his far WTG see you another day. when I can slow down I will post pics of Kyla's blessing dress.

ramblings of a tired mom.

well we are at the 2 week mark. she is still gorgeous and I have great friends helping me out. Even so they can't sleep for me and this little one has one WEIRD schedule. she seems to sleep for 24 hours and then be up fro 24 hours. She doesn't like the bouncy seat unless she is asleep and she doesn't like the swing unless she is awake. Basically she doesn't seem to like much at all. Not to mention that even if she slept I would still have 2 other little munchkins that are into EVERYTHING if I am not right on top of them. From about 8 to 3 it is like I only have 3 kids again and I am all but pulling my hair out. Don't get me wrong I love them all and i would not trade this for anything but man am I tired.

Kyla's birth story.

On April 30th I awoke between 330 and 4 in the morning with contractions. they actually kept me awake even though I had taken Tylenol PM. by noon they hadn't gotten any stronger even with all the cleaning I did so we went on a walk up some stairs and all over town. at around 4pm we decided they were not going to go away and we Famed out the kids and headed to walmart to get the last of the things we needed for our over night bag. We checked into the hospital at 6 got checked and I was at 4 cm Dilated and 70% they were admitting me. 2 hours later we FINALLY had a room and I was at a 5 pushing it to a 6 2 hours after that (4 in total) they broke my water and I continued to labor. I got to about a 7 and things just stalled out. I got the pit, and knowing that I go quickly when I transition told them to call him and get him in here. this was at 3 am. By 330 no Dr and I really wanted to push, he came in about 10 minutes later and told me I was still at an 8 and I had a lip left and that if I pushed I would tear. We discussed pain options decided on a one time shot. The Anesthesiologist came in and told us that the shot would only last about 10 minutes and just as he got done with his speech I looked at the nurse and Randy(no Dr in sight) and said she is HERE I can feel her I leaned back and she really was right there her head was half way out and the Nurse had no other option then to just catch her on the fly. The Nurse Delivered the baby put her on my Chest and and called the DR who was DOWN THE HALL. We had everything all but down when he got there. The good news is that I got just about everything I wanted from the delivery I had her on my chest before she knew she was out. When I fed her for the first time she still hadn't had her bath and was nakie (bri-ism). she got to sleep in room with me and even in bed if I so chose. SO nice to have people think and realize that I am a capable mother and do know what to do.

so there you have Kyla Avery Shumway born 4 am on the dot. May 1st ,2007 weighing 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 and 1/2 inches long.

Ok so I got some perspective.

I have a friend in TKD that was 2 weeks behind me in gestation that lost her baby this week. they went in to her regular appointment and found no heart beat the a US said no fetal movement either. her baby was delivered on April 27, 2007 and only weighed 3 pounds nine ounces. they will have a funeral for him and I hear he was a beautiful little boy. What struck me is that with all her grief and pain she wanted me to know. She has somethings that my baby will now be able to use. How she could even at this moment think about someone else is beyond me. I know where Thomas is and I know he is safe, they may not and to be in that place and still think of others is just WOW is about all I can say.

It has brought me to an understanding as well that as uncomfortable as I am and in early labor like I am, my baby is still there, still moving and growing and healthy and what a blessing that is. I am going to try and not complain any more about this child within me. I know I will be holding her soon and hearing her cry, watching her grow, and all those things my friend will not be able to witness. My heart aches for her and I find myself crying at times for all that she has to do and is missing out on now. At the same time I am so glad with each kick to know my baby is safe secure and alive.

because I can't think.

Ok so when I can't think of anything to write I am just going to go blog hoping. I got this from Melanie's board who got it from Others.



Three things:
I LOVE
Family
winter- I know weird but everything looks so clean after a snow storm.
great music.

I MISS
loosing weight (can't do that PG)
My Aunt she was my best friend.
dates I haven't had one in forever.

I HATE
my way or highway people(even me at times)
when kids can't do what they have been asked.
When babies die.


People who make me Laugh
Sean
Randy
Heidi (if it is spelled wrong tell me I can fix it)

SCARE ME
the increasing violence in the world
Not being with my family for any reason.
Divorce

On my Desk
bills
books
junk lots of junk.

I Want to Do in this Life
raise kids strong in the gospel so they know who they are always
Go to Ireland
Get my veterinary Tech degree and open a groomery pet sitting place.

Things I CAN do
I have been told I am a good listener.
I have great empathy ( I cry as sad commercials even when I am not PG)
I am the best Mom I can be

Things I CAN'T do
I can't be my kids friend they have those at school
I can't force someone to my way of thinking, opinion is everything.
I can't keep a perfectly clean house. (you try it with six kids.)

Things I would like to Learn
Swing Dance
How to sew
Sign Language

I REGRET
Not learning those things that would help my kids out more. Like reading, I read but it is hard and not my kids suffer with it too.
Hurting all those that I love.
not being a better house keeper sometimes.

Favorite Foods
Calamari
Thia Food
Steak
(oh and just so you know before I met DH I had never even touched any of those foods.)

Favorite TV shows as a kid
Cosby Show
He man
Simon and Simon

I don't get In-Laws

I have heard nothing for the last 4 days but how they would like to stop pleasing everyone and just be where they are. How they are going to run away for christmas cause the y just can't do it anymore. So this morning they left and why, because their dd wanted to spend time with them and go somewhere, and then they are going to go to church with another son before they head up the the camp grounds where he will paint and she will go and visit her other dd. NOw don't get me wrong if we were closer I would not have a fit like this but I am not going to UT this year and more than likely not next year either. the other 5 sibling all live within 3 hours of Bear lake where they will be. for us it is at least 12 and maybe longer. They didn't say good by to the older kids, they hid down stairs till they were gone and then came up. I am the one dealing with a 2 year old who is huddled on the couch cause grandma told her she couldn't go with her. A 12 year old who is angry because they are doing the same thing AGAIN and what will be a 9 year old tomorrow whose Grandparents left a day before his bday. I HAVE TO DEAL with all of that but they don't want to leave anybody out. They had to leave today after all that crap about not wanting please everybody.

I don't want to feel this way I really don't want to feel the way I do. It is just hard. That woman hs not one ounce of flexibly in her entire body. She says something and that is just the way it is. she wants something and that is just the way it is. she wants to leave and by dang it if she doesn't leave then she tends to act more like a child and gets angry. you should have seen her last night when she thought they would be snowed in. Of course the roads opened up this morning and she was happy as a clam.

Oh well the stress is now gone and maybe this baby can come peacefully into the world.